i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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