From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
