I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Terrible idea I love it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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