I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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