I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
