just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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