I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were trust falling into bushes
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
