i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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