why didn't you poke me back
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
