she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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