Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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