Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
