I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
