You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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