dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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