i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
