HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
