I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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