What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
