I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
