She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
