After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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