I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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