i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
