Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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