She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
