We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
