i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My ass is underappreciated
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
