My hair reeks of homosexuality.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
