see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
