Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
