i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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