i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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