either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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