Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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