Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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