White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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