I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
