At least make sure they are 18
Why
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
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