Who wears a wallet chain?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
