Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
