My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dick very happy bro
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
