my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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