it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
