Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
