i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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