I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
