i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The uberlube is also flammable
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
