So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
