Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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