12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
