At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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