I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
